4. A practice go. 

One of the simplest but most powerful aspects of seeing a therapist is that it gives you a space to practice. 

‘But practice what?!’ I hear you gasp…

Well, specifically, a chance to say things out loud, which you may never have voiced before. This isn’t powerful because someone else is hearing it (although their witnessing it is partly what makes the experience meaningful and what makes it count), it’s powerful because you get to hear yourself say it out loud. When voiced, it’s no longer a thought or feeling in your head. In that moment, you give life to something that, until externalised, only has the potential to live. 

Now it’s there out in the open, you get to experience it in a completely different way. It’s now there on the outside, not only imagined; it can be heard, seen, felt. Here you get a chance to consider it, see if from new angles and a fresh perspective. Here you get a feel of its weight.  

And then the magic part… you can put it back and leave the therapy space, returning to the world outside like that moment never happened. Like Alice stepping back through the looking glass. 

Therapy can enable you to find the courage to verbalise a deeply personal thought or feeling, and yet nothing ‘out there’ changes, no one else knows, life continues as it did before. And that thought or feeling that was given life in the therapy space, returns to its dormant state of potential. It’s only when you feel ready to implement the thought or feeling, that things really begin to change, and you get to decide if and when that happens. (Enacting that change is a whole other topic for another time; very different!) I believe it’s so important not to understate the power of this simple first step. 

I feel privileged to witness these moments for individuals. I can say first hand that, when clients hear themselves saying deeply personal thoughts and feelings out loud, things they may have never verbalised before, and have that moment witnessed, something changes. They realise that, a) they’ve said it, b) they’re not met with any big or counterproductive reactions or drama (which would only reinforce their original reasons for withholding), c) they’re OK! and d) the world carries on as it did just moments before… their eyes light up, their shoulders drop, there’s release, relief… catharsis. 

For me, this captures one of the most powerful elements of person-centred counselling specifically. It’s by no means limited to this therapeutic approach, but it’s certainly supported by the core tenets of it. In these powerful moments, there’s nothing to be done, nothing to be fixed or solved, just a moment of calm acceptance; to be heard, to be held, and all in the name of healing.